Thoughts to ponder about Americans We are a diverse and unique people, but there are some things I just can't explain. What do you think? "A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election." - Bill Vaughan We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car that will take 5 years to pay off. Drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. We demand speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won't buy a car if it can't go over 100 miles an hour. We know the line-up of every baseball team in the American and National Leagues but mumble through half the words in the "Star Spangled Banner". We'll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live longer, then drive 90 miles an hour on slick pavement to make up for lost time. We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen year old son run wild. We whip an enemy in battle, then give them the shirt off our backs. You can get a pizza to your house faster than an ambulance. We will work hard on a farm so we can move into town where we can make more money so we can move back to the farm. We get upset we're spending over a billion dollars for education, but spend three billion dollars a year for cigarettes. I think it's funny that banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. How many of you leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put your useless junk in the garage? Why do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place? Does anyone know why we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight? Only in America do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. Why do drive-up ATM machines have Braille lettering? In the office we talk about baseball, shopping or fishing, but when we are out at the game, the mall or on the lake, we talk about business. We're supposed to be the most civilized nation on earth, but we still can't deliver payrolls without an armored car. We have more experts on marriage than any other country in the world and still have more divorces! We're the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world and more diets to keep us from eating it!! Along the same lines, Americans will order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke. Why are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink? Back to Jokes Page