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Computers in the Movies
As we all know, movies always portray everyday objects exactly as they are in real life. Here are a few examples.
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Word processors never display a cursor.
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You never have to use the spacebar when typing long sentences.
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All monitors display 2 inch high letters.
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High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such
governmental institution, have easy-to-understand graphical interfaces.
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Those that don't will have incredibly powerful text-based command shells
that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.
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Corollary: You can gain access to any information you want by simply typing
"ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.
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Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply
typing "UPLOAD VIRUS." Viruses cause temperatures in computers, just
like they do in humans. After a while, smoke billows out of disk drives
and monitors.
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All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's
desktop computer, even if it's turned off.
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Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the screen
changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that
it doesn't go faster than you can read. The *really* advanced ones also
emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer as the characters come across
the screen.
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All computer panels have thousands of volts and flash pots just underneath
the surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a puff of smoke,
a shower of sparks, and an explosion that forces you backward. See #7, above)
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People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving the data.
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A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before
intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.
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Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE
function.
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Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit data at two gigabytes per second.
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When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels
will explode, as will the entire building.
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If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file,it also
disappears from the screen. There are no ways to copy a backup file
-- and there are no undelete utilities.
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If a disk has got encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password
when you try to access it.
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No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it'll be readable by any
system you put it into. All application software is usable by all
computer platforms.
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The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has. However,
everyone must have been highly trained, because the buttons aren't
labelled.
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Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying
three-dimensional, real-time, photo-realistic animated graphics
capability.
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Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing
real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a CRAY-MP.
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Whenever a character looks at a Monitor, the image is so bright that it
projects itself onto his/her face.
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Computers never crash during key, high-intensity activities. Humans
operating computers never make mistakes under stress.
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Programs are fiendishly perfect and never have bugs that slow down users.
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Any photograph can have minute details pulled out of it. You can zoom into
any picture as far as you want to.
Example: What's that fuzzy thing in the corner?
I don't know, let's check.
It's the murder weapon!
Let's look under the bed for the killers shoes.
no, just some comics books (Marvel 1954, very rare).
Let's check the closet shelves...
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